The Pressure of Being The Breadwinner

Being the only breadwinner of the family is like a full time job. The amount of responsibility that comes with it makes it hard to find time for self-care and self love. Everyone around you looks up to you for reliability, support and advice. Breadwinners feel intense pressure to not only provide for their families but to ensure that those who look up to them are satisfied in all areas, mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically. Such responsibilities creates a sense of fear among breadwinners when they think of what could happen if they loose their jobs or if they took time off work due to injury or illness.While it is crucial to take care of our loved ones, breadwinners need to remember the saying that goes, “you cannot pour from an empty cup” (Park, 2023). The emotional and mental effects of being a breadwinner can be intense as pressure, anxiety and stress can build up with time causing non-reversible health damages. 

In a society where the debate on gender roles is still on the rise, most men find themselves as breadwinners to their families. From young ages, small boys are taught that seeking help and showing emotions to the world is a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Instead, they are encouraged to convey the image of resilience, dependable, silent, strong, savior and always in charge (The Guardian, 2016). Men who fail to live up to such societal standards are termed as losers, something that negatively impacts their mental health. Findings from a recent study revealed that men with adverse health and psychological well-being are those who earn more than their wives or partners (Mason, 2022). In the olden days when men were the primary breadwinners of the family, they had better health scores and minimal psychological issues compared to modern days where partners contribute equally. The pressure of being a breadwinner gets worse for men since society expects them to always be in control and avoid seeking for help from others. Findings from research on mental health in men shows that four out of every five suicides are done by men and it is the leading cause of death of men aged 35 years and below (Mason, 2022). Increased pressure also makes men to resort to drug and alcohol abuse to manage their depressions and internal suffering.

The pressure of being a breadwinner for women

However, the pressure of being the breadwinner is much worse for women as it comes with different sets of pressure and challenges. Findings from Pew research reveals that in 40% of American families, women are the primary breadwinners (Mason, 2022). Individuals who believe in traditional gender roles assume that women should be limited to performing house chores while men should not be involved in handling any household activities. Additionally, women with children who are also breadwinners face societal pressure and judgement from people for neglecting their children or failing to be present mothers. In the work environment, working class women are often viewed by their male colleagues as unlikable or aggressive and they face constant battles on issues around gender pay gap. The balance between work and fulfilling motherly and wifely duties can be exhausting for most women, leading to burnout. The pressure worsens when family expectations overrides or equates to work pressure. Being a female breadwinner also comes with the pressure of increasing or maintaining their income to sustain their families (Aman, 2023).The pressure leads to exhaustion and overworking among working women as they try to overcome the pressure of professional success.

Signs and symptoms of a breadwinner experiencing pressure

Emotional exhaustion is one of the signs and it is where a person feels unable to handle daily duties. In most cases, an emotionally exhausted person may feel sleepy and zoned out in between conversations. Depression and anxiety is another sign where the pressure makes the breadwinner to keep worrying about family responsibilities, work performance and finances (Aman, 2023). Such worrying leads to sadness, a sense of hopelessness and mood swings. Physical fatigue is also experienced where one develops low energy, trouble sleeping and chronic exhaustion. Frustrations leads to strains in relationships as one develops resentments towards family members or partners who contributes less finances. It also leads to isolation among the victims as they gradually become disconnected to partners, family members, co-workers or friends due to increased personal demands and pressure from work (Park, 2023). Isolation causes loneliness which increases stress and leads to development of physical diseases such as muscle tension, digestive issues and headaches.

As the famous saying goes, prevention is better than cure. Finding a solution to manage pressure of being a breadwinner is better than waiting for the consequences of developing mental health related issues. The first strategy is to set clear boundaries. It is crucial to set boundaries for both personal and professional life to avoid extra pressure and burnout. Some of the ways that individuals can set boundaries include setting aside time for relaxation and rest, delegating household duties and reducing work hours. The second strategy is creating division of labor both at work and at home (Mason, 2022).One can decide to share home responsibilities with their partners or a nanny to reduce workload on one person. In case of increased pressure at work, one can decide to talk to the boss to add more staff or to share the responsibilities between employees to ensure that no one experiences burnout.

The third strategy is to consider financial planning. Consulting a professional financial expert can help to create a solid financial road map which can be useful in achieving both long-term and short-term financial goals. Establishing various financial aspects such as retirement goals, investment strategies and saving plans can minimize financial anxiety (The Guardian, 2016). Financial planning can also entail focusing on other activities such as looking for income growth streams like applying for new job opportunities, seeking promotions or negotiating for salary increase.

Conclusion

To conclude, being a breadwinner is not a ride in the park as it comes along with various ups and downs. Caring for others and neglecting oneself leads to burnout and mental health related issues. However, having a supportive partner can help reduce the pressure and promote success both at work and home. I believe that the pressure of being a breadwinner is a topic that has been overlooked by most people for the longest time, yet it is one of the greatest contributing factors to mental health issues at home and work. We should always speak up on such pressures to raise awareness.

References

Aman. (2023, February 3). Why being the (Female) breadwinner sucks. Medium. https://amanlitt.medium.com/why-being-the-female-breadwinner-sucks-a095a039a7d4

The Guardian. (2016, August 19). Men who act as breadwinners face negative health effects, study finds. the Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/money/2016/aug/19/men-breadwinners-health-effects-wellbeing

Mason, D. (2022, April 4). The burden of the breadwinner: Can I provide for my family without losing my purpose? LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/burden-breadwinner-can-i-provide-my-family-without-losing-dan-mason-/

Park, J. (2023, November 8). The invisible struggles of breadwinning women. Everything is Liminal | Jenna Park | Substack. https://jennapark.substack.com/p/the-struggles-of-breadwinning-women